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These stories and characters belong to Samurai and are © 2019 Ashton Knight, all rights reserved. (Glitch Magic is a fanfiction, but I own my characters and the plot.) ____________________ Path of Legends The Soap Thorn: (singing and dancing with a box of soap) Jaguar: . . . what are you doing Thorn: I have new soaps and I’m celebrating their existence. Jaguar: . . . why? Thorn: BECAUSE SOAPS ARE GREAT Jaguar: . . . Thorn: THEY’RE SALMONELLA-SCENTED Jaguar: . . . what Thorn: “Ocean Breeze” SALMONELLAS LIVE IN THE OCEAN THEREFORE THE SOAPS ARE SALMONELLA-SCENTED Jaguar: . . . Lawn Mower Sasaki: DON’T MIND ME, JUST A MASTERLESS SAMURAI MOWING HIS LAWN Akira: What is that thing?! Jaguar: A Sasaki. Akira: No, the really loud thing– Jaguar: A Sasaki. Akira: No, the wheely thing he’s pushing around. Jaguar: Oh. That. That’s a lawn mower. I’ve only heard about them from ancient tablets . . . Earthlings had to cut their grass, apparently. Couldn’t tame it to stay short . . . Grass: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT? -suddenly grows- Sasaki: -SCREECH- I JUST MOWED THAT Grass: -keeps growing- Sasaki: -running around the yard frantically with the lawn mower- Akira: This is entertaining. We’re keeping that grass chopper. Sasaki: -SCREECH- HELP MEEEEEEEEE Akira: Definitely keeping it. Fish Nova: Thorn? Thorn: Yeah? Nova: I want a pet. Thorn: What kind? Nova: A fish. Thorn: -gasp- A SALMONELLA Nova: . . . ? Group of Titans Arrow: (reading) A group of Angels is called a flight (a murder for dark Angels and a salvation for light Angels), a group of Syrens is called a chorus, a group of Titans is called a- Ronin: Disappointment. Arrow: . . . no. Salt Thorn: Pass the sodium chloride, peasant. Jaguar: . . . what's that, some kind of poison if so OF COURSE Thorn: . . . the salt, Jaguar. I need the salt. Jaguar: SASAKI Sasaki: WHAT Jaguar: THORN NEEDS THE SALT Sasaki: OKAY -slides down railing- I'M HERE Thorn: . . . Pizza with . . . Salmonella? Thorn: -ordering a pizza- Yes, I would like extra cheese, pepperoni, and- Loki: Anchovies. Thorn: No anchovies, but I would like salmonella on it. Loki: You want a disease on your pizza? Thorn: No, that’s what YOU were suggesting. My cousin died of anchovies . . . Loki: Anchovies are fish . . . Thorn: No, SALMONELLAS are fish. Anchovies are a DISEASE and a DANGER TO HUMANITY. Loki: . . . we’re not human . . . Chill Time Silverfrost: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE Storm: What’s unacceptable? Silverfrost: EVERYTHING Storm: That would include you. Hm. Funny. I actually agree with you for once. Silverfrost: EVERYTHING EXCEPT ME Storm: Nahh, you’re the most unacceptable thing here, come on Silverfrost: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Ronin: Hey, you need to calm down. Or should I say Storm: RONIN NO Ronin: You need to C H I L L Silverfrost: . . . get over here so I can turn you into a nice, quiet ice statue Kool Aid Silver: EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE -stirs cauldron- I WILL GET YOU, MY PRETTIES Storm: I wouldn’t be calling Akira pretty, he’s kind of ugly. REALLY ugly. Ronin: Aw thanks hon Storm: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY Ronin: . . . oops Storm: HOW DARE YOU Ronin: I’M SORRY Rigel: . . . That's fine, continue to bicker. DO ignore the fact that we are about to be boiled in a witch’s cauldron Silver: NEVER FEAR, IT’S ONLY KOOL AID Rigel: . . . Kool Aid doesn't exist in this corner of the observable universe . . . Silver: IT DOES NOW. OHHHH YEAAAAAH Rigel: Please don’t dunk me in Kool Aid. I don't particularly like Kool Aid . . . Silver: WHY EVER NOT, MY PRETTY? Rigel: . . . it’s not cool and it doesn’t aid me in anything except HATING ITS VERY EXISTENCE Silver: . . . you confuse me. Birds Rigel: Sure is a nice day. Jaguar: No, it’s a horrible, ugly day. Just like STORM Storm: Ehh not as ugly as you Jaguar: Nahh it’s more like you Storm: Nahh Jaguar: Nahh Rigel: . . . look at the birds Bird: SQUAWK Storm: HEY IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE YOU Jaguar: UM NO, THAT’S OBVIOUSLY YOUR OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD VOICE Storm: I HEARD A VOICE CRACK, IT’S DEFINITELY MORE YOU Rigel: . . . sigh Jaguar: NO, IT’S NOT Storm: YES, IT IS Akira and His Puns Ronin: Where’s your sister? Jaguar: Oh. She left. Ronin: Why? Jaguar: Mad at me for something. Ronin: Then she didn’t leave. She Jaguar: Ak- Ronin: STORMED away. Jaguar: Akira, I swear to the Light, I am going to lifedrain you. Akira is Tired Thorn: Let’s go fight some bandits! Ronin: -looks up from stone tablet- . . . let’s not. Thorn: IT’S BUSHIDO, NOT BUSHIDON’T Ronin: . . . Today it’s bushidon’t. -sips sugarscotch- Whoosh Shogun Ethereal: -sitting on a swingy porch bench thing- Ah, what a nice day. The sun, the breeze, the- -WHOOSH- Sardonyx: -holding a now-empty bucket- There’s the water you requested, sir. Shogun Ethereal: YOU NUMBSKULL SON OF A HECKING ENGLISH MUFFIN YOU HECKING- Sardonyx: . . . but you requested it Shogun Ethereal: YES. IN A GLASS. NOT A BUCKET TO BE POURED ON ME. Sardonyx: . . . Ah. My bad. Shogun Ethereal: . . . may the toaster BURN ALL OF YOUR POPTARTS for the rest of your days Sardonyx: . . . I don’t like poptarts . . . Shogun Ethereal: Son of an English muffin WHAT Sardonyx: . . . Shogun Ethereal: FOR THAT STATEMENT, EXILE! Sardonyx: . . . Shogun Ethereal: You heard me, go! GET OFF MY LAWN, POPTART-DESPISING FOOL The Shogun's Rubber Ducks Shogun Ethereal: -wearing a bathrobe and slippers- Time for a nice, relaxing bath. -looks around- Wait a minute . . . where are my rubber ducks?! -frantically searches the bathroom- WHO STOLE MY DUCKS?! Natesh: -knocks on the door- My liege- Shogun Ethereal: NATESH FIND WHOEVER TOOK MY DUCKS AND THROW THAT SON OF AN ENGLISH MUFFIN INTO THE DUNGEON. RIGHT. NOW. Natesh: Your . . . your ducks, my liege? Shogun Ethereal: YES, MY DUCKS. WHERE ARE THEY? FIND THEM. FIND THEM ALL. BRING THEM HOME SAFELY. Natesh: . . . ? Shogun Ethereal: SAVE MY DUCKS Natesh: . . . As you command, my liege. Slap Him with a Caprisun Rigel: Happy holidaysssssssss Silver: STOP THAT SINGING OR SO HELP ME I WILL SLAP YOU WITH A CAPRISUN Rigel: A Capri-what? Silver: CAPRISUN. IT’S A LITTLE JUICE BOX. Rigel: . . . please refrain from slapping me with a juice box. Ronin: -slides in on wool socks- But it’s not a juice BOX, my friends, it’s a juice- Rigel: PACKET OF LOST HOPE, BROKEN DREAMS, AND THE TEARS OF DESPAIR OF SCALLOPS. Silver: . . . scallops? Ronin: Scallops don’t drink juice . . . Rigel: . . . what did I even say . . . I’ve been awake since Sunday . . . Silver: Go sleep. OR I WILL SLAP YOU WITH A JUICE PACKET OF LOST HOPE, BROKEN DREAMS, AND THE TEARS OF DESPAIR OF SCALLOPS, YOU SLEEP-DEPRIVED LEGOLAS DOPPELGANGER. Rigel: . . . Ronin: Those juice-drinking scallops need to share their Caprisuns and stop being so Silver: DON’T EVEN- Ronin: -slides away on wool socks- S H E L L F I S H Silver: YOU’RE NEXT IN LINE FOR A CAPRISUN SLAP Ronin: Why a Caprisun? Silver: . . . because why not Ronin: -continues sliding on wool socks- Oh No, It's Anchovies Nova: Thorn, I think I'm sick. Thorn: ANCHOVIES Nova: . . . ? Thorn: EAT YOUR SALMONELLA, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER -pelts her with little fish- Nova: SCREECH Snow Silverfrost: Look at all the snow. Loki: Sky dandruff ew ew ew Silverfrost: .....you ruined it. Thanks. Loki: You're welcome, frosty one. Muffins and a Melted Camera Camera Man: Okay, Loki, it's time for your picture. Loki: Cool beans. Can I see the camera for a sec? Camera Man: ....I guess? -hands him the camera- Loki: Rad camera, my dude. -inspects the camera- -sizzle- -the camera starts to melt- Camera Man: HOLY MUFFINS GIVE THAT BACK Loki: What? -molten camera juice drips onto the floor- Camera Man: HOLY MUFFINS Loki: Mmm, muffins are good. Camera Man: -runs away screaming- HOLY MUFFINS Loki: Yeah, bring me some muffins. That would be almost as rad as your cam- -he sees the molten camera- Loki: Oh. Oops. The Tale of the Four Masters, simplified Sunslayer: -screws up- The others: THROW 'IM IN THE UNDERWORLD, BOYS Sunslayer: Wait but I- The others: -throw him in the underworld- Sunslayer: Fridge Unsalted Butter Shogun Ethereal: NATESHHH Natesh: My liege? Shogun Ethereal: Have you found my ducks yet? Natesh: No, my liege. Shogun Ethereal: Find my ducks or I will impale you with three quarters of a stick of unsalted butter Natesh: . . . Shogun Ethereal: What? Natesh: . . . why un''salted butter, my liege? Shogun Ethereal: Because you are undeserving of salt. NONONONO WAIT. ''Because your personality don't need no more salt son Natesh: . . . Shogun Ethereal: -fingerguns- I insulted you, how do you like that Natesh: . . . that's nothing new Shogun Ethereal: -opens a box of butter- N a t e s h Natesh: Please refrain from- Shogun Ethereal: -gets three quarters of a stick- Natesh: . . . Shogun Ethereal: -throws it at Natesh, javelin style- YAHHH -the butter bounces off and hits the floor, begins to melt- Shogun Ethereal: n o Natesh: . . . The Jolly Rancher Akira: What is this supposed to be, weird cylindrical seaglass? Storm: It's called a Jolly Rancher, idiot. Akira: Oh. Triton: Jolly Rancher? Storm: Yeah. Triton: Give me this Jolly Rancher Storm: . . . sure? Triton: ahahaha miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Storm: . . . Triton: With this I shall rule the world Storm: . . . that's a piece of candy. Triton: Dammit The Poptart Doctor: Okay, we’ve taken out your appendix. Shogun Ethereal: . . . I don’t have an appendix. Doctor: Oh . . . well, we took out SOMETHING . . . Shogun Ethereal: . . . N A T E S H Natesh: -teleports in, holding a blueberry poptart- My liege? Shogun Ethereal: ARREST THIS SON OF AN ENGLISH MUFFIN Natesh: As you command, my liege. Shogun Ethereal: . . . also is that a poptart Natesh: Yes, my liege. Shogun Ethereal: HAND IT OVER Natesh: Never, my liege. -eats poptart- H A Shogun Ethereal: . . . Bubblewrap akira: look, bubble wrap! loki: why do you need bubble wrap? akira: because I want to pop it. loki: . . . but it's for wrapping things. akira: no, it's not. it's for being popped. loki: bubble WRAP akira: bubble MEANT-TO-BE-POPPED loki: you're wrong, sir. akira: no, I'm right. POP THE BUBBLES. loki: don't pop the bubbles. akira: -snatches the bubble wrap- EVEN YOU ARE POWERLESS TO STOP ME -pops all the bubbles- I AM MIGHTY loki: mighty dumb akira: you mean mighty GODLY also you might want to invest in something I call a MIRROR if you want to see who's dumb loki: sorry, I'm broke. spent all the money I have on those damns I don't give. Fern is Lamp-like fern: thornnn thorn: -trying to sleep- -opens one eye- what do you need? fern: can you check on the baby thorn: ….why ME fern: because you're half asleep and I want to make you miserable thorn: aww fern: hehe thorn: *x* fern: . . . you just kissed the lamp thorn: oh. uh . . . I thought it was you fern: do I look like a lamp thorn: yes fern: FFFFFFFFF thorn: I mean...because you're so bRIGHT and LAMP-LIKE fern: . . . thorn: I tried fern: . . . leave -in storm's room- thorn: she's asleep. just there with her little stick of dynamite, nothing to HOLD ON A MINUTE SWEETHEART WHY DO YOU HAVE DYNAMITE baby storm: -wakes up- -eats the dynamite- thorn: ….well, I'm the one who ate a tree DELICIOUS anyway sleep well honey Sasaki's Tan Silver: Sasaki, what are you doing? Sass: Getting a t a n Silver: . . . Sasaki you're so red your hair looks...not red anymore Sass: I must T A N Silver: . . . that's a sunburn Sass: IT'S A TAN Natesh is Helpful Shogun Ethereal: I NEED SOME JELLY FOR THIS SANDWICH but ffffff I'm too short to reach it Natesh: What a shame. Shogun Ethereal: H-hey! You're supposed to help me! Natesh: ^-^ Shogun Ethereal: . . . fine. -gets step ladder- Natesh: HAHAHAHA Shogun Ethereal: What? Natesh: NO STEP LADDER CAN HELP YOU Shogun Ethereal: YOU'LL SEE -gets on the step ladder- -reaches for the jelly . . . which is still a mile out of his reach- Natesh: sNORT Shogun Ethereal: It's not funny! Natesh: iT'S hILARIOUS Shogun Ethereal: You're a (bleep)! Natesh: You're sO eFFING sHORT this is hilarious Munch Rigel: Time for some lunch. Storm: Yeah, that'd be good. What do we have? Rigel: -lifts up a rock- -snatches a giant centipede- No ketchup, that's for sure . . . but they're all right plain. -CRUNCH- Storm: . . . -''blinks-'' Rigel: -munch munch- Storm: Are . . . are you . . . Rigel: -cRUNCH munch munch- Storm: . . . Are you eating that?! Rigel: Want some? -holds out the half-eaten centipede- Storm: . . . no, think I'll pass. Uh-oh Rigel: -nom nom nom- Storm: What are you eating THIS time? Rigel: Lucky Charms Storm: ....oh no Rigel: hehe. HEHE. HEHEHEHEHE -wild eyes- Storm: Who let you have those...? Rigel: -bounces off the walls- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Storm: .... 911: 911 what's your emergency Storm: yes I have a sugar-high star elf here 911: oh those are dangerous Storm: yeah can you send- 911: OH HELL NAW -hangs up- Storm: . . . Riiiiigel Rigel: MORE SUGAR Storm: no Rigel: hEHEHEHEHE Crayons Kid Storm: IT'S THE MOSTTTTTTT WONDERFUL TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OF THE YEAR Kid Jaguar: What, Christmas? Kid Storm: No, it's hibernation time wHICH MEANS I CAN DO ALL SORTS OF EVIL THINGS AND MY DAD CAN'T STOP ME -scribbles on the walls with crayons- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Kid Jaguar: hehe.... -goes in the kitchen- -CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK- ...LOOK STORM WE CAN MAKE MUSIC WITH THE SPOONS Kid Storm: SPOONS ARE STUPID, CRAYONS ARE WAY BETTER Kid Jaguar: YOU CAN'T EAT WITH CRAYONS Kid Storm: CAN TOO ''-eats a crayon- Kid Jaguar: I DIDN'T SAY TO ''EAT IT, I SAID- Kid Storm: SEE, YOU CAN EAT THEM. Kid Jaguar: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CRAYONS, DUMMY Kid Storm: OF COURSE NOT, WHY'D YOU THINK I DID IT? Kid Jaguar: BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB Kid Storm: Nnnnnnnooo, because I'm a rEBEL. hAHA! Kid Jaguar: . . . Thorn: -appears in doorway wearing bright pink pajamas and bunny slippers- Honey why are your children screaming hOLY BUTTERNUT SQUASH WHICH ONE OF YOU MONKEYS DREW ON THE WALL Kid Storm: -munches crayons- Kid Jaguar: hehe . . . Kid Storm: (through a mouthful of crayon) Not me! Thorn: . . . Kid Jaguar: MUM'S COMING, HIDE THE EVIDENCE -stuffs more crayons in Storm's mouth- Thorn: . . . weeeell, they're nontoxic, she'll be fiiiine. Fern: -walks in- Thorn. -forced smile- Why don't we have a tALK Thorn: I had nothing to do this, I was hibernating, they Fern: Care to explain why our three-year-old is eating crayons? Kid Storm: -points at Jaguar- Kid Jaguar: I had nothing to do with this either -tosses the spoons aside- I was, uh...standing here Fern: .... Seagulls Thorn: -walking on the beach- Seagulls: -ATTACK- Thorn: SEAGULLS STOP IT NOW Candy Loki: I SMELL MAP -kicks down the door- Wow, candy! Storm: Whoa there son you don't need none of that candy- Loki: HEHEHEHE -scoops up an armful of candy and runs away- Storm: Stop that man! Loki: HEHEHEHE Jaguar: . . . maybe we'll find the map under all this candy Storm: . . . I think not Jaguar: -sniff- I don't know, I smell map Loki: (yells over his shoulder) THAT'S MY LINE YOU HEATEN Jaguar: . . . do you mean "heathen"? Loki: HEATEN Have a Snickers Demon Akira: rOAR Loki: AKIRA Demon Akira: I MUST DESTROY Loki: YOU'RE NOT YOU WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY Demon Akira: -sNARL- Loki: hAVE A SNICKERS Demon Akira: . . . what is sNICKERS Loki: it's CHOCOLATE -throws the Snickers bar at him- CONSUME IT Demon Akira: . . . Teenagers Jaguar: -turns 13- Thorn and Fern: -have a birthday party for him- -the day is overall great- Jaguar: -goes to sleep- Thorn and Fern: -staying up late, eating snacks in the kitchen, because Fern is a night owl and Thorn only needs to sleep a few times a year- Thorn: Well Fern: Looks like we have a teenager now Thorn: -inhale- Fern: DON'T EVEN- Thorn: -INTENSE AIR GUITAR AND HEADBANGING- tEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING **** OUT OF ME Fern: . . . "Sake" -Jaguar and Thorn are at an inn- Jaguar: -looking sharply at everyone while sipping apple juice and pretending it's sake- Thorn: -doing exactly the same thing- Bartender: Anything else I can get you? Thorn: yES MORE APPLE JUICE PLEASE Jaguar: -kicks him under the counter- Thorn: ouch I MEAN more sAKE Bartender: . . . Champion Sunghyon's an Angel with a Shotgun Baekjool: HELLO FOOLS, I AM HERE Sunghyon, Angel of War: -loads rifle- Ruby and Tarik: -smirk- Sunghyon: What? We’re in imminent danger from a psychopathic supervillain; what could you possibly be smiling about? Ruby and Tarik: I’M AN ANGEL WITH A SHOTGUN, FIGHTING TIL THE WAR’S WON Sunghyon: . . . Ruby and Tarik: I DON’T CARE IF HEAVEN WON’T TAKE ME BACK Sunghyon: . . . I hate you. Tarik Can('t) Sing Tarik (in the shower, singing, thinks no one can hear him): MUMMIFIED MY TEENAGE DREAMS, NO IT’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME Mae-chang (just down the hall, listening with Ashkii): Are you recording? Ashkii: Of course. Tarik: THE KIDS ARE ALL WRONG, THE STORY’S ALL OFF, HEAVY METAL BROKE MY -worst voice crack of all time- heeEaaART No One's Mean as Tarik Ashkii: DARN IT DISTURBS ME TOO SEE YOU, TARIK, LOOKING SO FRICKING disappointed in humanity Tarik: . . . don’t try to make a musical out of this Ashkii: NOOOOOOOO ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S SELFISH AS TARIK, NO ONE’S MEAN AS TARIK, A MAN THERE NEVER WAS AS TERRIBLE AS TARIK Tarik: That was horribly off-key. Ashkii: But it’s trueeeee Tarik: . . . no. Ashkii: Yes, it is. Tarik: . . . you’re just mad that I took the last cookie. Ashkii: . . . yes. Mind Control Ruby: Tarik, what does taekwondo mean? Tarik: The Way of Mind Control Ruby: . . . no Tarik: Ehehehe are you sure? Ruby: . . . -hides- Popcorn Ruby: Tarik I love you Tarik: . . . what if I didn’t have popcorn Grape-Flavored Cough Syrup Goblins Master Ryang: I may be old, but I am not your stereotypical senior! Kids: HAHAHAHA Master Ryang: GET OFF MY LAWN -sprays them with the garden hose- AWAY, FIENDISH SPAWN OF GRAPE-FLAVORED COUGH SYRUP Tarik: . . . what Master Ryang: Grape-flavored anything is FIENDISH Tarik: But what does that have to do with your neighbor’s children Master Ryang: THEY ARE CLEARLY DESCENDED FROM GRAPE-FLAVORED COUGH SYRUP GOBLINS Tarik: . . . Master Ryang: . . . I should get some sleep Tarik: Good plan Grilled Watermelon Mae-chang: -grilling steak- Man these steaks are looking good, they’re almost- Tarik: -plops a giant watermelon steak in the middle of the grill- Mae-chang: NO, TARIK Tarik: Why not? Mae-chang: BECAUSE…WHO GRILLS WATERMELON? Tarik: It’s a vegan steak. Mae-chang: GRILLED WATERMELON Tarik: YES GRILLED WATERMELON Mae-chang: ….can I try it Tarik: ….sure hon Mae-chang: Yay! First though . . . it’s gonna need some SEASONING -grabs the seasoned salt- Tarik: MAE, NO Mae-chang: -SEASONS THE WATERMELON STEAK- Tarik: NO SEASONING Mae-chang: ALL THE SEASONING Tarik: NO Mae-chang: SEASONED GRILLED WATERMELON Tarik: YOU’RE RUINING IT Mae-chang: DELICIOUS A Boat, a Truck, and a Grill Tarik: There are three things every man needs: a boat, a truck, and a grill. -turns on the grill- Mae-chang: -throws open the upstairs window- GET AWAY FROM THAT YOU’RE NOT QUALIFIED Tarik: -looks up- Yes, I am! After what happened last time, we can safely assume that women can’t grill. Mae-chang: If you’re making that claim solely based on ONE INCIDENT involving JUST ME, then we can go ahead and assume that men can’t grill either because of what YOU did that one time. Tarik: ONE TIME. Mae-chang: What I did was ALSO only ONE TIME. NOW LET ME GRILL, YOU CAN’T BE TRUSTED Tarik: Aw, you don’t trust me Mae-chang: Aw honey I do JUST NOT WITH THE GRILL NOW STEP AWAY BEFORE YOU BREAK IT AGAIN Tarik: LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BREAK IT Mae-chang: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Coffee Mae-chang: Hey you want some coffee Tarik: Sure Mae-chang: -turns on the coffee maker- Hm how does this thing work Tarik: MAE, NO -dives into the kitchen- Stache-kii Ashkii: Hey Tarik Tarik: Yeah? Ashkii: You know what I’m thinking? Tarik: No, whatcha thinking? Ashkii: I’m thinking about me with a MUSTACHE Tarik: Holy ketchup-roasted popcorn shrimp, no! Ashkii: WHY EVER NOT Tarik: . . . because you would look genuinely AWFUL with a mustache. Ashkii: NO I WOULD NOT Tarik: . . . you would. Ashkii: NOPE Tarik: Yeeeep. Ashkii: NOT LISTENING TO TARIIIIIIIIK Tarik: . . . ask anyone else. They’ll tell you the same thing. Kai: A BEARD WOULD BE COOL THOUGH Tarik: . . . oh no. Ashkii: A BEARD. INTERESTING THOUGHT Kai: DO IT Ashkii: I SHALL Tarik: NO BEARDS Kai: I WILL TOO Tarik: NO I DON’T WANT TO BE THE ONLY CLEANSHAVEN MAN HERE Kai: THEN YOU GROW A BEARD TOO Tarik: NO Kai: DO IT Tarik: I REFUSE Seasoning Master Ryang: This technique is for our seasoned black belts First dan Tarik: -pours spices on self- I'm a seasoned black belt Master Ryang: . . . leave Challenger Glitch Magic Jeremy: This is my man cave. None shall enter. Talon: -falls down chimney- HOO HOO HOO HEHEHEHE HA HELLO ME OLD CHUM Jeremy: What do you exist? Talon: I FELL DOWN YER CHIMNEY Jeremy: Leave. Talon: I SHALL STAY, OLD CHUM Jeremy: No, you will leave before I fry you with a Healing Current gone wrong. Ashley: (loudly from the next room) Even a Healing Current wouldn’t help your personality, Jeremiah. Jeremy: First of all, my personality is a (he forgot Wizard101 is rated everyone 10+)load better than yours. Second of all, it’s JEREMY! Ashley: Okay, Jerald. Jeremy: fffffffffffffff Talon: Hi, Jerome. Jeremy: FFFFFFFFFF -screeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE SPARK- Storm Lord: HOOOOOOOOOOM -zaps everyone- Jeremy: WHO’S NEXT Sylvia: -edges away- Swords of Heaven Kris the Magician Kris: I will now make all of the idiots in this room disappear! Sam: Yay, then we'll have the room to ourselves! Jack: It's about time. I'm so claustrophobic. Kris: ABRACADABRA, IDIOTS BEGONE! -silence- Sam: . Jack: . Kris: . . . why are you two still here. Category:Content (Samurai) Category:Miscellaneous